(Alzheimer's Disease) Drowning

This was written before Don's diagnosis. He was angry a lot and threaten to move back to AZ often.

Drowning

I am drowning here
Holding on to this note:

"My darling Lois Lee,"

I am trying to keep my head above water.

"I have you on my mind all the time
With very fond and loving thoughts of our life together."

Then why are you leaving?

"I am very thankful that we decided to go through life together."

Then why do you want to sell the house?

"I love you very much."

I don't feel it nor believe it.
I am drowning here and can not take a breath.

"It is true we have very different views on many subjects
And neither of us should apologize for that.
We should instead try with the others help and understanding
To see each others opinion."

But you don't want my opinion. If I give it, I am controlling.
I am drowning here and want you to save me
But instead you throw an anchor around my neck.
You are leaving and I am drowning here.